I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
