we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
