DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
