She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
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