life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
