Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
