he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Randomize
