And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
