Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
