i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
if i died would you start the facebook group?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
