Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
i out mim tonsoeep
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