I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
is wine microwaveable?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
