there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
