I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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