I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
