How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Randomize
