Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
