So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
