If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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