Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
We named our party play list daddy issues
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize
