mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
