I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
