I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
