taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
