afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
