he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
