If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
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