forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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