there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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