WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
