Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We have started to decorate penises.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
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