you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
