ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
