you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
