eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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