Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Randomize
