I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
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