I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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