You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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