new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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