My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
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