So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize