I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Randomize