Already got asked if we're dating
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
