Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
