My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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