you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Randomize
