Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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