dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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