1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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