If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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