you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
