Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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