You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
