What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
