this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I need to stop coming to work sober
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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