Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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