Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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