Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
