I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
pray to the hookup gods
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