I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
